Churning Butterflies in my stomach with razors for wings morning in a race to beat the clock breath shortened heart rate heavy wrapped in chains created in my own mind churning waters as I try not to sink head above water with leaden limbs - Caroline A. Slee

Chaos Interruption

Photo by Steve Johnson on Chaos Interruption When morning song shifts into a screech discordant melody ending the beauty peace falls apart and the quiet disappears into the chaos of anxiety taking over once more - Caroline A. Slee


Doubt is a plague Following on the heels Of a devil Calling himself anxiety The constant state of alert The gnawing worry That whispers in the night Pulling me out of dreams And into the tossing And turning Of my mind Until Like a soft rain Breath connects Warmth returns And the body sinks Into … Continue reading Insignificant

Baby steps…#MondayBlogs

Short, but sweet tonight. Today was another 6 month follow up with my oncologist. I've been so looking forward to graduating to that 1 visit per year stage that I was pretty disappointed when some of my labs didn't let that happen six months ago. Today, the labs were on the money. I'm over 5 … Continue reading Baby steps…#MondayBlogs

The Blackest Soul…#MondayBlog

"And stern to the haughty, but humble to thee, This soul in its bitterest blackness shall be." ~ Lord Byron The theme of many blog posts this week seems to be the suffering of the artist. 🙂 I've written on this before, wondering aloud (on the page) "Must there be suffering?!" I like to think … Continue reading The Blackest Soul…#MondayBlog

When Anxiety Comes Knocking…#MondayBlogs

Last night, I "thought" I went into heart failure. I was asleep when this happened, mind you, but it felt extremely real. The girl who kept travelling near me using only a pogo stick didn't alert me to the fact that I was dreaming. When I finally clawed my way, gasping, back to the surface … Continue reading When Anxiety Comes Knocking…#MondayBlogs

Universal Reminders…#MondayBlogs

Universal, as in "from the Universe," as opposed to, let's say, something we ALL receive in the exact same way. I'm going for my oncology follow-up in 1 week. This is the usual look-see that my doctor has to verify that I am still in remission. Although I love hearing that I am (every single … Continue reading Universal Reminders…#MondayBlogs