I think I must have awakened with a case of the “Mondays.”  Sleep was bizarre: no memory of what I was dreaming, but my own crying woke me up quite a bit.  It’s strange to hold to the idea of a truly positive outcome, and yet still fall apart so much…

This weekend my girl and I went to see “Wicked” in Orange County.  It was an amazing show, and always good to get out of this Godforsaken desert.  🙂  It took me most of yesterday to recover from being up so late the night before, but it was well worth it!  I haven’t been doing those things I so loved doing for my whole life, before marriage.  It kind of cracks me up how much changed right before my daughter was born.  And I know I need to make the time to do those things I love, even if no one around me wants to do them.  In this particular case I was lucky, because Becky was dying to see the musical, which made for a fun night.

So, today I get to go have an MRI.  I notice I am starting to get confused over which tests are “fasting” and which ones are what I think of as civilized.  Fortunately for the world in general, and myself, this is a non-fasting test, so I won’t have to be even more irritable due to starvation!  Combine the sleep-deprivation with hunger, and I may just be a felony waiting to happen.

I am digging for my humor today.  I’m certain it is in there somewhere — just buried today.  I am right back to feeling an overwhelming sense of isolation, even though I know that cannot be the case.  After all, I have everyone praying and offering supportive messages and I am the exact opposite of alone.  But still, some odd side effect of this whole business is that there is really no one in here but me, and some days I am just not feeling all that strong.  At all.