Well, after all of the upheaval of yesterday I am now into a new day… Of course I have moved into my day on only 3 hours of sleep and much tossing and turning.
I can’t even really feel any irritation or anger today.
All I can really do is my usual: write and prioritize and plan. I know that in the long term I will not be able to continue living where I am. But before I have that kind of conversation, there’s something much more important at stake here.
Yeah, you guessed it — I have cancer. I can’t afford the division of energy required to fight with people. I can’t afford the distraction. My entire focus has to be on keeping my children and I healthy and happy and steady. Anything that detracts from those three things just has to go. I have to close the door on it. And I have to get ahold of myself and not allow people to stir up my negativity levels, or stress levels… I can’t afford endless sleepless nights like last night. Realistically I know this, it’s just easier said than done.
So, back to the main focus. My two kiddos have today off school, but Beck’s kids do not. We are having a reading day together, and a gardening day. Only good things to come, only healing to come.