When I had surgery, the surgeons did the first step of my reconstructive surgery at the same time.  In other words, they put “expanders” in under my chest muscles.  Over the next four months, my Doctor will fill those expanders with saline, stretching my skin and muscles until we reach the right size for my implants.

During my initial consultation with my surgeon (whom my children and gf call “Marmaduke” due to their inability to remember his actual name), he mentioned that I “might” be skinny enough that the expanders would give me bumps.  This may have been his attempt at reassurance, but I didn’t really hold out any hope that I would be coming out of this as anything other than flat-chested.  And, truth be told, I really didn’t care all that much: I would be getting rid of my cancer, after all.

Well, Marmaduke was right.  I have fairly decent A cups going on here.  And the GF thinks they are cute, since I am such a skinny mini.  On Wednesday, Marmaduke starts pumping them up, and Bex isn’t looking forward to it.  She’s already attached to what came home post op, she’s not ready for change.

This either means she is deeply disturbed (how can they be cute, with sutures?), or she is just stuck on me completely.  I prefer door number two…

Meanwhile, just to acknowledge the blog topic suggestion offered to me by a dear friend (and you know who you are, Missy!) I need to learn how to relax.  Before my life changed, I used exercise – running, swimming, weight lifting – to mellow myself out.  Or, I would smoke.  Bad habit.  Now, I have some short term physical limitations that mean I can’t do the workout queen routine, and there’s no way I am going to smoke a darn cigarette when hospitalization gave me a perfect start on quitting.

So, I am writing.  Sleeping.  Visualizing (although that can backfire if I fall asleep while I am doing it).  Yoga is definitely going to be a huge part of what I do in about 4 more weeks, as soon as Marmaduke says okay.  Deep breathing has been recommended, and works – although I tend to do that before I get out of bed in the morning, or right before sleeping.  So, suggestions people?  How do you relax?

I hope all of you are having a fantastic Friday.  Blessings…