Yes, I used a math symbol. The whole is greater than the sum. That’s my title, and I am sticking to it. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I think the actual saying might be the opposite — but, no matter!!! I will take that idiom and twist it around until it suits my purposes! Yes, I will.
Before I had surgery earlier this year, I wrote a blog article entitled “How My Breasts Define Me.” The punchline being, of course, that they do not. Although I can’t say for sure if that really counts as a punchline when it is simply a basic fact.
So, here I am: I am 34 years old; I have survived breast cancer but I have had a bilateral mastectomy; I am still going through chemo; I have lost all my hair; physically, I am as different as I could be from my former self.
Part the discovery of this journey has been who cares about the “cover” more than the actual “story.” Either I am Pollyanna (which is a tendency of mine, I admit) or you all would be surprised by how many people cared more for how I looked than they were able to care for me.
I say I live in a bubble right now, and I do. The occupants of that bubble are only those people I allow in: no negativity, no judgment, and no superficiality. We plan on having one hell of a kick *ss party when this cancer/chemo stuff is over…all five of us. Yes, that’s right, five people only. We are a small but lively bunch. And I believe we may have designed “Party Rock Anthem” as the theme song to chemotherapy.
I am more than the size of my breasts; more than the pretty hair I lost; I have earned every wrinkle I have and I am proud to report that most of them are still laugh lines; I may look different; I may not appear to be what others would be most comfortable with, and maybe I wouldn’t win any beauty contests right this second. For those of you who have made my looks all important, I have one thing to say:
My looks will change again when my good health has been restored, but those people will not be brought back.
My best friend wrote a “thank you” letter to Cancer the other day: thanking Cancer for all of the garbage it had taken from my life.
It’s true. Without Cancer, I would still be wandering through my life, misled about the intentions and feelings of those who once said they loved me.
I know what love is now, and all I can say is most blessed, most fortunate, me.
Blessings to you all…