Yesterday, I turned 44. I usually like to reflect on the year behind me in the days leading up to my birthday, but I didn’t really do that this year. I’ve been burning the candle at both ends and in the middle, and it is finally catching up to me these days.
Last November (2019, that seems like a century ago), I came down with not-the-flu. Then in December, I came down with it again (still?). And January. And February – the worst of it all. High fevers, major body aches, a horrible cough. I couldn’t lie down without feeling like I was drowning. My doctor was busy beyond belief, and sent me to urgent care. I asked for a chest x-ray, because everything felt like pneumonia to me. No, no chest x-ray. My lungs sounded clear, so obviously my pain and fever and everything were a gall bladder issue. I explained that my lung was hurting, and they told me that my lung was my gall bladder.
The down side of being extremely sick is that I am not the best persuasive speaker at those moments.
So, when the world closed down and the fever was gone but the breathing was bad, my primary doctor gave me steroid inhalers to treat what was left over.
Last week, in another follow up, I asked when the pain in my lung was supposed to go away. It turns out that should have resolved within 3 months, so oops! When a doctor tells me that something will “take time,” I need to ask what that timeline might be. 🙂
So, I have pneumonia. I spent yesterday snuggled up watching “Hocus Pocus” on the couch with my wife, our two teens, and two extremely sleepy dogs. I’m pretty much exhausted all the time, but that might not be a bad thing.
It’s time for me to re-imagine my life. I’ve been working two jobs, I’ve completed my Master’s degree, I barely sleep. This might have worked when I was in my twenties (maybe), but it is not a sustainable way of living. I could even argue that I am not really living, since work dictates almost every waking moment.
Instead of a pre-birthday year-in-review, I am taking time for post-birthday reflections. I know where I have been, I see clearly where I am, and it is time to determine where I am going.
Despite the terrors and seeming curse of the year 2020, what is to come will be amazing.
Blessings to you all…