And it won’t matter in ways that you can see it. It can leave you frustrated, scared, lost… Pick an adjective, any one will do.

But that doesn’t matter, does it? We all know that if we just follow those “right” things, everything will just flow in the way it’s supposed to. The problem there is that we don’t really know how anything at all is supposed to be.

When I was just shy of graduating high school, I had a plan. I fully expected life to follow that linear path I had outlined for myself. Bachelor’s, Master’s, PhD, professorial life and writing.

Here I am, 41 years old, and (other than completing my Bachelor’s degree) nothing has gone to plan. My dad always talked about having something beyond the plan B we all know well enough to account for, and I’ve learned that plans C through Z matter more in the grand scheme of things than plans A and B ever have.

So, to wind around to the point of these disjointed ruminations, I had a doctor’s visit on Friday, with results from some tests she had run. It turns out that I have one of the worst cases of osteoporosis a person can have. My middle-aged self has the bones of, and I am quoting here, “a 90 year old.”

My running, green drink consuming body has severe osteoporosis.

Insert as many F expletives as you wish here.

Today is Monday, run day. This morning, I was supposed to do my five miles on the treadmill, since it is still one million degrees outside. What I wanted to do was take the kids to school, and come home to pull the covers over my head.

So I ran. Unwilling, but I ran. I am proud to report that I didn’t break any bones. My only limitation according to my doctor is that I need to settle my clumsy self down and stop tripping and falling. Ignorance is bliss, because I can run with relative grace but walking through my own house can lead to accidents for me.

Every single moment is an adjustment to a new normal. I thought that remission and then being cancer-free would be my new normal, but there’s always more to come. The magic comes in the middle of the adversity, though. And my eyes are open for the magic.

Meanwhile, I figured I would share my video motivation for a Monday. It certainly made me chuckle this morning.

I’ll be the one dragging myself around on my own back. 🙂